Snippets from the past life – The magic button edition

Snippets – This is all about breaking up the monotony of ones day.  A chance to fume, vent or laugh.  Have a free one on me as I post about experiences with people of my past and present.

Having once worked in a call centre for a bank I can tell you three things that would sum it up in a jiffy.  Great benefits, fantastic pay and the most horrendous customers you will ever meet.  Not all mind you because some customers are pleasant and lovely, however they will always be overshadowed by the nasty ones for their use of colourful language and strange epithets.

Most days I would be threatened and called horrible names.  Why someone would abuse the very person they are calling for help is beyond me.  It makes a person want to be less helpful if only to give the middle finger to the idiot treating them without an ounce of civility.  

On other days there were the magic button calls, where customers were of the belief we could do something simply by pressing a special button.  Unfortunately no amount of dissuading could disabuse this theory.

Where this magic button is nobody knows because it’s been spread by word of mouth with no evidence to suggest it exists.  You know the rumour that starts with “Well my friend worked at a bank and she knew so and so who told her so and so”. 

The magic button theory would make it’s appearance most often when people had their cards swallowed by a seemingly faulty ATM, only for me to see when looking into it, their pin attempts had been exceeded.

It’s the step a bank has implemented to prevent a criminal from trying a thousand different combinations for the purposes of stealing a customers money.  After all if they lose your money they are responsible for paying it back.

Still it is never a good idea to tell a customer they have done wrong in order to avoid the defensive argument that always ensued.  My way was to lead them to that conclusion before hitting them with a replacement card fee.

The conversation would go a little something like this:

Customer:  My cards just been swallowed, I am standing in front of the ATM and I need you to eject it.  Damn stupid $%#* machine.

Me:  Sorry we cannot do that.  If it’s a standalone machine the cards are all collected and will be destroyed when they are next emptied or if you are at an ATM connected to a branch wait to the next business day and the branch may be able to retrieve it.

Customer:  What do you mean??  That’s my card not yours.  I know you can press a button.

Me:  There is no button.

Customer:  Well I heard otherwise

Me:  Well I can tell you now there is no button

Customer:  Well I never, this is just extremely rude…..It’s your fault that this  stupid machine took my card?

It was always my fault when this happens and I’m always at my ‘rudest’ when I can’t make things happen like press a magic button.

Still, I bare on making the appropriate oohs and aaahs if only to pretend I care.  After a reasonable amount of time has passed…..

Me:  It would seem the wrong pin number has been entered too many times.

Customer:  Well I’m telling you I put in the right pin number.  I should know I’ve only had it for years.

Me:  So did you enter the same number three separate times?

Customer:  Of course I did it’s my pin $*&%# number.

Me: Smacks forehead.

An ATM machine isn’t a human that can get a pin number wrong.   It is also not the terminator sent back from the future to kill a persons card, no matter how many times I wished it were.

Lets make this clear once and for all, if the ATM says the wrong pin number has been entered then by golly it has.  

To then enter the same number three separate times and expect a different result….

I only have to say this.

One deserves their card to be captured if only to save ones money from themselves.

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